Survivor Gallery: Amy Cardoza

Amy is a survivor of sex trafficking from Oregon who journals daily as a way to process her trauma. Amy’s submission includes entries from her journal, which she plans to turn into a book about her experiences.


Entry 1

I have memories returning of 16 or 17 births throughout my life… All of the children were either taken from me…by people I know…not authorities….as I was being told things like your too young to raise a child, you didn’t want a child anyway did you? your a drug addict and incapable of caring for a child…. Yet, the ones drugging me in order to sex traffic me, are the same ones who took the children…..then have turned around and said statements like I abandoned them….

When all along I’d been lied to and told that they weren’t mine….

Until it’s convenient to use it as a threat. 

None were born in a hospital. The person I remember delivering them is a woman who lives locally and works as a state caregiver. I remember her taking the baby out of me handing it to a woman saying just take it and go…I’ll check on it later. I didn’t know where I was or what was going on….. Somehow, my body has always been different and I’ve never been fully aware I was pregnant and it was never planned and always a result of being sex trafficked.

How many possible ways can my life be violated and no one notice or care.


Entry 2

I guess what I’m completely befuddled by….is each of you have watched me cry struggling with PTSD….and profited from what you did to me and involved me in all the while denying your knowledge of any of it.

What is betrayal?

What is cohesion?

What is trafficking?

What is predation?

What is lying?

What is deception?

What is greed?

What is selling your own family member?!?!

What is dishonesty?

What is rape?

What is entrapment?

What is kidnapping?

What is torture?

What is trauma?

You may think, “Oh well, I didn’t do that…”

Yet, you did.

All of the above.

I’ve experienced all of the above, because of what you did and allowed to be done to me.

If you feel offended by my post, maybe you should ask yourself why…..

To intentionally worsen someone’s PTSD on this level is playing with fire.

I don’t recommend it.

Now, walk on……..

step away…..

Don’t expect friendship…..

Don’t play with this pain.

Everyday is a gift.

Boundaries are respect for yourself.

I’ve told you where to go…

I’ll repeat……

Go far from me.

Now, more than ever, I plan to make a difference.

Biography

Amy is a survivor of sex trafficking from Oregon who attended high school in the Gresham area and went on to attend Mt. Hood Community College. Amy is a florist, photographer, singer, practices martial arts and enjoys running, lifting weights, and gardening. Amy is also an avid writer who journals daily as a way to process her trauma. She plans to write a book about her experiences.

Need help? Polaris operates the U.S. National Human Trafficking Hotline.